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Rules to live by?


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Mosh

Thu Mar 10 2005, 02:20pm

Rape barn owner

Joined: Thu Jan 13 2005, 10:49am
Posts: 3586

1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is
to leave her with no hard feelings.

2. Nothing improves with age.

3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it,
because it'll never be quite the same again.

4. Sex has no calories.

5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount
of trouble.

6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think
you've got.

8. No sex with anyone in the same office.

9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to
get or how long it is going to last.

10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.

11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

12. Virginity can be cured.

13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops
listening to him.

14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the
same ones she can't stand years later.

16. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.

17. It is always the wrong time of month.

18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you
won't either.

21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for
crop failure.

22. The younger the better.

23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.

24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that
caused the trouble in the garden.

25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

27. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot
of frogs.

28. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse
than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.

29. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.

30. Love is a hole in the heart.

31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone
into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on
the moon.

32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

33. Do it only with the best.

34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned
four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

35. One good turn gets most of the blankets.

36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine
women.

37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at
all.

39. Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.

40. Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.

41. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.

42. Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.

43. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the
women he couldn't.

44. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the
stick.

45. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

46. Never say no.

47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.

48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.

49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.

50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.

51. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.

52. Love comes in spurts.

53. The world does not revolve on an axis.

54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other
eight are unimportant.

55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

56. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.

57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they
fall in love.

58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.

59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

60. "This won't hurt, I promise."

McdamnThatFiddleStick!

Fri Mar 11 2005, 10:19pm

Boo Boo Kitty Fuck

Joined: Sun Jan 30 2005, 03:22am
Location: looking for someones lap to curl up on
Posts: 1628

heh, sex is overated anyways!

CelestialApokalypse

Sat Mar 12 2005, 03:45pm

Joined: Sat Jan 29 2005, 08:28am
Posts: 756

"McdamnThatFiddleStick!" wrote ...
heh, sex is overated anyways!

<cough>bullshit</cough>

Thrash

Sat Mar 12 2005, 10:13pm

Better Smokin' Than Meth!

Joined: Wed Feb 28 2007, 12:14am
Location: Under Your Mom's Meat Flaps!
Posts: 14373

How would you know?
I didn't think your memory was THAT good!

Lusive

Sun Mar 13 2005, 02:10am

Hatin' on people since 1975

Joined: Mon Jan 10 2005, 04:29pm
Posts: 1386

*LOL* Sex with most is overrated, however, with some people....there isn't a rating high enough

MissMeg

Sun Mar 13 2005, 05:25am

Joined: Fri Jan 07 2005, 03:32am
Posts: 1238

Aww, well put. And those made me laugh...

Mosh

Sun Mar 13 2005, 06:56am

Rape barn owner

Joined: Thu Jan 13 2005, 10:49am
Posts: 3586

wrote ...

8. No sex with anyone in the same office.

This is the best advice ever.

MissH

Sun Mar 13 2005, 06:22pm

Joined: Thu Jan 06 2005, 08:32pm
Posts: 3595

"Mosh" wrote ...

67e32d8db2 wrote ...

8. No sex with anyone in the same office.

This is the best advice ever.

Yeah, You should have told me that a year ago...

wrote ...
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to
get or how long it is going to last.

True...

wrote ...
56. Don't do it if you can't keep it up

Agreed....

wrote ...
55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

I've been doing that alot lately..

Sex is soooo NOT overated... I love sex...

Mosh

Mon Mar 14 2005, 05:57am

Rape barn owner

Joined: Thu Jan 13 2005, 10:49am
Posts: 3586

"Liddlecutehayley" wrote ...

5fa656a5c6="Mosh" wrote ...

5fa656a5c6 wrote ...

8. No sex with anyone in the same office.

This is the best advice ever.

Yeah, You should have told me that a year ago...

If I'd know you a year ago, I wouldn't have needed to...

MissH

Mon Mar 14 2005, 08:42pm

Joined: Thu Jan 06 2005, 08:32pm
Posts: 3595

Yeah... still not the point..

You should have told me a year ago.. hehe

Mosh

Tue Mar 15 2005, 03:11am

Rape barn owner

Joined: Thu Jan 13 2005, 10:49am
Posts: 3586

heheh live and learn...

MissH

Tue Mar 15 2005, 01:46pm

Joined: Thu Jan 06 2005, 08:32pm
Posts: 3595

Yeah... I guess so.


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