so i am bored. so i'll post this in a spot or two and see what comes from it. here's the story from yesterday. when i got chili juice oil on my dick. fun feeling, hm? yeah. like 'how the fuck does that happen?' well, read on, avid viewers. read on.
sorry if it's long. just feel the need to get the story out in it's entirety...
so i work for fred meyers...it's a store under the kroger banner. like a k-mart or wal-mart, for those that don't live in the western american area.
i work in the foods department. yesterday was interesting in that everybody that went through the store managed to either misplace something, break something, or drop something (and one woman even managed to do all three!) so i just cleaned up a bleach spill on the cleaning aisle. a bitch, since the only cleanup kit that had any paper towels seemed to be on the other end of my department. i took the bleach container to the back room and was just coming back when a guy appears and hands me a small glass jar. says he dropped it over in aisle 7.
fuck. that's the condiments-mexican aisle. fuck me with a rake, i think to myself. it's dripping something. the label says it's some kind of funky green spicy peppers in oil or something. i take it back and wrap it up and grab a roll of paper towels to find where he dropped it. didn't need to do that; the spill trail led halfway across the department, winding like one of the children in the family circle. shit was hard to wipe up too. was oil, didn't want to clean up...
so i got that done. skip an hour ahead. got a 15 minute break. washed my hands since they were saturated with pepper oil. ate chicken fingers.
fast forward to 11:00. got off late. lots of small shit piled up. went home.
figured i was gonna call up some girl and talk for a bit...but i was kinda in "the mood". allright. perfect tension reliever. turned on some videos on my computer and grabbed the 'glide and started playing around... and a very interesting burning sensation began to settle on my familiar area. i was thinking 'what the hell? astroglide doesn't burn! maybe i got a cut or something...friction perhaps?'
but no. all was well in the area down under. except for the burning. then it started getting worse. and throbbing. was warm feeling like i stuck my prick inside a blow dryer on high or something. throbbing like i plunged myself into a vat of vaporub. what a wonderful senstation it was actually bringing tears to my eyes. so i ran into the bathroom and dropped my pants. now it was feeling like someone was running a beltsander over my 'headular area'. i turned on the water and leaned over my bathroom sink to try to wash myself off...when i remembered... the chili oil.
i have fucking chili oil on my dick. because some wideass motherfucker dropped a bottle of chilis and dragged them across the store i am going through excruciating pain. what. the. fuck. so i grabbed a washrag and started to scrub. and scrub until i was almost raw.
didn't all come out either. dunno what the fuck it's made out of but it took an hour to stop throbbing after i washed it.
so yeah. don't get chili oil on your private areas.
just thought i'd warn you all in case anyone wanted to play with 'mexican foods' or something. burns like a motherfucker, let me tell you. worse than when that girl dropped a lighter on my member.
if i see the fucker that dropped that bottle again, i'm gonna tell him exactly what happened and grind some chili peppers into his crotch.
